Nocturnal Obsessions
by Scritch
Summary: Night after night, she has watched over her obsession, her growing addiction. But the object of her curiosity, her unknown desires, is one most unexpected...
1. Nocturnal Obsessions

**Warning:** Mentions of femslash! (Wow, never thought I'd have to write that in an author's note…)

_Location: _ Besaid Island

_Time: _After the concert, before things become dark.

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** Nocturnal Obsessions**

Slowly, slowly – ever slowly and quietly, with the meticulous care of the thief she claimed to be – she pulled back the thin covers and set a foot lightly on the floor, only just now reminding herself of their location. With no floorboards to creak or metal to clang, she got to her feet, the blanket making a soft whisper as it slid from her form to rest on the cot beneath. She didn't – couldn't – allow herself to breathe as gently, slowly, she padded across the room, bare feet crunching ever so slightly against dirt and stone.

A soft murmur from the object of her mission made Rikku freeze. She held herself fixed, motionless for several minutes, squinting her eyes to watch intently in the dark of the small hut for any movement, until the racing of her heart calmed and she was sure that no one had awoken. Her muscles relaxing one by one, she went forward with practiced ease to kneel beside the sleeping form of her obsession.

She didn't need the moonlight that streamed in through the small window to see the face of the slumbering woman; they were imprinted in her mind's eye, forever an image that she could draw up. Mentally she traced over the lines of the carved face almost lovingly. She opened her eyes – unaware that they'd been closed – to see the reality, and lifted a hesitant hand with much less confidence than before. Her fingers reached out to touch lightly on soft red lips, and Rikku found herself longing desperately to touch those lips with her own.

She knew that this was wrong. Her conscience tugged at her forcefully, demanding that she simply get up and go back to sleep; this had gone on long enough! Day after day she fought with herself, knowing in her mind that she shouldn't be doing this; but a small part of her heart said that it was fine, that it was merely an observation, and if anything were to come of it then so be it. If her brother could lust over their cousin, why couldn't she be fascinated by another woman? Her curiosity was that of a child coming of age, a girl who was just only now attempting to understand and familiarize herself with these changes in her body and mind. Here, now in the calm, she could finally slow down and allow herself to experience life.

Every night – she no longer knew how many weeks it had been, or even if it had been more than one or two – she got up from her bed to kneel and observe the woman she'd become so enamored with.

"Paine…" she whispered, awe in her voice. She gathered up the confidence to rise from her kneeling position and sit down on the low cot, barely daring to rest her weight. Her fingers traveled along a perfectly sculpted jaw line, then across the woman's cool temple. There was so much that she didn't know about her! Yuna had told her – in complete confidentiality – that the warrior had been a recorder for a group called the Crimson Squad; it was her connection to the leaders of the current political parties. Idly Rikku wondered if there really _had_ been something between Paine and Nooj, something more than just friendship.

Somehow it hurt to think that.

She couldn't help herself. A sharp stab of pain – or was it anger? – pierced her heart, and Rikku leaned forward eagerly to place a tender kiss on those irresistible lips…

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_Choose an ending to the story – select a chapter for the finish._


	2. Happy Ending

**Nocturnal Obsessions**

_** Happy Ending**_

A small sigh escaped the warrior, and Rikku froze again as crimson eyes opened sleepily, slightly glazed with not-yet-forgotten dreams.

Paine blinked slowly, feeling something warm pressed against her lips. It wasn't an entirely unpleasant feeling. Then the warmth was gone, and she fought the grogginess that beckoned her to come back to the bliss of unconsciousness. A hazy shape hovered above her; Paine blinked again to bring it into focus, and was met with wide green eyes and black swirls. As the person sat up and began to move away, she shot out an arm, still fighting off sleep, and gave a tug.

"Rikku?" The girl fairly winced as she heard her name whispered, silently cursing herself for her foolishness. Her arm was held captive in a surprisingly strong grip. Her breath caught in her throat in a silent sob as she felt a tug, and Rikku forced her face up, still unwilling to see condemnation.

Emotionless red eyes met childish green ones full of guilt, and the Al Bhed girl shivered. "I-I'll go to bed," she found herself whispering hurriedly. "I'm sorry, I'll…" She pulled at her arm, trying desperately to relinquish it from the firm grasp and dash away. The grip tightened as she pulled, and something wet ran down the girl's cheek.

She stopped struggling as a hand reached up. For a warrior, Paine had surprisingly delicate-looking fingers. Gently Paine brushed away the tear, sitting up quietly, the cot creaking underneath them as she pulled the other girl down to sit beside her.

Rikku didn't dare breathe - for fear that this was a dream, born of an unhealthy obsession that had finally driven her too far - as she was pulled into a warm embrace. She didn't quite believe that this was happening…

But nothing happened. Not quite. The air was very still, the embrace gentle, both drawing in and holding at bay. Green and red met, and both held a measure of confusion. Did she understand? Rikku begged her to know, to discern what she couldn't possibly say.

After a moment, the older woman squeezed Rikku gently, just a little amount of pressure that was released after a moment that stretched forever. Paine was expressionless, those features that the blonde loved so much completely devoid of anything. But she knew.

"Go back to bed," her voice was almost mocking, but Paine's eyes betrayed her nervousness. "We can… talk, tomorrow." She pushed away; went to lie down.

Hope blossomed in her heart. Rikku stood still. Paine turned away, as if to ignore her, but her breathing was ever so uneven.

Hope became boldness, and, risking life and limb no doubt, the girl leaned down and ghosted her lips over the smooth white forehead, hand hovering over the trim waist under the covers. As the embrace had, the moment stretched out. Then she felt a hand brush over hers, and she stood up, quietly moving to her cot across the room. Her mouth and hand tingled.

Snatching her blanket from the floor, Rikku curled under the covers, burying her face in the flat pillow to disguise a giggle of delight.

Paine moved her hand very slowly to her forehead, and smiled.


	3. Sad Ending

**Nocturnal Obsessions**

_**Sad Ending**_

A small sigh escaped the warrior, and Rikku froze again as crimson eyes flickered open sleepily, still glazed with dreams not yet completely gone. The younger's lips parted in sudden anticipation, sudden hope, and a pink tongue darted out quickly.

_"Nooj?"_

Something cracked inside her.

Paine mumbled in her sleep as her eyelids opened wider, then closed tightly, and she sighed again. "Nooj?" Longing, wanting… pain forced into that one word that was almost a groan.

Something shattered, and Rikku drew back, hand flying to her mouth to muffle an almost choking half-sob. All stealth gone in the unexpected event, she lost her balance as she tripped and fell to the ground, landing hard. Ignoring the stinging pain in her bottom, Rikku pressed the hand tighter, green eyes huge with shock.

The crimson orbs finally opened into wakefulness, and Paine blinked, mouth open even as the cursed name left her lips one last time, just a whisper. She looked to the side; saw the Al Bhed. The name was changed. "Rikku?"

Rikku pushed her hand tighter yet, as if to smother herself.

"What the hell are you doing on the ground?" A cold smirk touched her beautiful features briefly, even as that look of longing crossed them. Memories, no doubt, of some romance past.

Rikku didn't want to know.

"Well?"

She didn't want to know, didn't want to know, she was _done._ The hand came down. "Nothing. Sleepwalking, I guess."

"Don't wake me up next time. We're leaving Besaid in the morning; go to sleep."

"Yeah… sure."

Paine turned on her side and immediately succumbed to slumber. Back to dreams of pain, blood, death and betrayal by someone whose name she called even in unconsciousness.

Stumbling back to her side of the room, Rikku collapsed onto her cot. Burying her face in the flat pillow, she wept for a lost obsession that would never be hers.


End file.
